With higher divorce rates every year, it’s easy to believe that only lucky people are happily married, when in fact it’s all about hard work and habits.
Here are 8 habits of happily married people
They respect each other
One of the most important habits of happily married people is that they respect each other.
Respect doesn’t mean not fighting; it means that even when you are upset at your spouse, you’ll be able to convey that in a respectful.
Respect means accepting that you two are different and have different opinions.
They don’t blame each other
Blaming other people for their mistakes or worse, for your failures is a recipe for disaster.
If your spouse does something wrong or makes a mistake, blaming won’t sort out anything.
Think about it the other way around, if you make a mistake towards your spouse and they blame you for it, it will only put you down and make you feel frustrated.
If, on the other hand, your spouse would advise you how to fix your mistake, you’ll feel understood and motivated to do better, which leads to the next habit of happily married people.
They communicate
Happily married people communicate.
Communicating doesn’t mean just talking. It means sharing what’s on your mind, what makes you happy, what makes you sad, what you want from your marriage and spouse and what you don’t want.
Communication is key to making a marriage work and to being happily married.
They split responsibilities
One of the main reasons why married couples fight is because, usually, all responsibilities fall on the woman.
From cleaning, cooking, doing the dishes and the laundry, to taking care of the children. Taking care of a household is a full-time job by itself.
If one person handles all of this, it’s basically impossible to have any energy left to spend time with your partner, which naturally leads to all sorts of problems.
If you want to have a happy marriage, split all responsibilities.
They support each other
Happily married people support each other. As the vows, you take “for good or for worse, through sickness and in health” you need to support each other.
Whether your spouse wants to pursue a dream or to change careers, it’s very important for them to have your support, as it would be the same for you.
When your spouse is feeling down, or going through a rough time, your support might be the only thing that they need.
They are happy on their own
One of the common habits of happily married people is that they are independent and happy on their own.
They do not depend on their spouse to be happy. They have their own friends, social life and activities or hobbies that make them happy even if their spouse is not involved.
They appreciate each other
Appreciation is one of the most underrated habits, although it is one of the keys to being happily married.
Appreciating your spouse doesn’t mean praising them. It means showing you noticed a small gesture that they did, such as taking the garbage out by saying thank you.
As a happily married person, I cannot stress this enough. Both my husband and I always say thank you to each other for the smallest things.
They love each other
Although I left this for the last and not technically a habit, love is obviously the most important aspect of being happily married.
If two people do not love each other, they will not put the same effort and they won’t be as dedicated to making things work as two people who love each other.
I agree with all of these. Supporting each other, loving each other and dividing up responsibilities is one that really stood out. We each have certain thing that we are responsible for and it helps keep the house balanced.
Absolutely. I’ve seen it so often that loving couples end up divorcing because they don’t split responsibilities. Thank you for the comment 🙂
I agree with you, I think you mentioned most of what a true happy long term relationship and married people as well. We always work together to solve our problems and not make it as way to separate us.
You are so right, Philomath. We need to work together to solve our problems and not let them divide us. This is the secret to happily married couples 🙂
I do agree with your points. Most importantly we need to understand each other. Feeling motivated after reading your article.
Thank you, Andy. Absolutely, understanding each other is paramount to being happily married. Glad my article motivated you 🙂
Yes to all of these. I’ve been happily married for 26 years and I agree with everything you’re saying here. Communication is key and we keep our discussions to ourselves. I have also found that making time to experience new exhilarating activities together has kept our relationship fresh.
Wow! Congrats! That’s a great point actually, to keep discussions private. We do that as well and if it happens that we are upset at each other when we are outside of the house, we never let it show. We don’t do our laundry in public 🙂
They don’t blame each other- this was the one that really hit home for me. I think, If I’m being honest, I often jump straight to blaming my husband for lots of things that really aren’t his fault. I’m going to focus on being intentional in this area going forward. Thanks so much for sharing!
Hey Amanda! That’s okay, it’s great if we are able to see our mistakes and correct them. I’m sure that if you lose this habit of blaming, you’ll see great improvements in your marriage. Thank you for the honest comment
I have been married for 19 years and while our fights are not always respectful we do carry on and respect that once we have been heard albeit loudly at times. You have most certainly nailed it on three points. We are happy on our own. We split responsibilities and we support each other. Even though we are married we are still two people and two lives. The couples I know that see their marriage as a singlular unit always having to do things together, not supporting each other because they are just one have issues. We need to prop each other up by supporting each others goals and sharing the work so that we have time to be who we are a unique authentic individual. This is where true happieness lies.
Hey Alisa! It’s great to read that you have been married for 19 years and you and your husband are supporting each other, split responsibilities and are happy each on your own. Arguing or fighting I consider it to be healthy, it means there’s still passion left :)), however, I believe that once you raised your voice or are disrespectful to your spouse, things have a high chance of going downhill from there. My husband and I have a rule that if one of us is extremely mad, we will not discuss the topic until the next day. This way, the heat is gone and you can discuss calmly while trying to solve the problem instead of making it worse. Thank you for sharing this with me.